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Posted At: 6:14pm by Anna Joy
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I recently read Does College = Losing Your Faith and being that I'm in college it really got me to thinking about college and life in general and how it has affected my faith life.
I attend Concordia University Nebraska. I'll be a junior in the fall. And after two full years of being there I honestly wonder what on earth I'm doing there and why I ever went there to begin with. Right now, it feels like I've wasted the last two years of my life away in the middle of a corn field not learning or absorbing anything from the classes that are supposed to teach me about "real world" events and how to deal with reality on a day-to-day basis.
Going to college is not easy. College is for those that have drive and have a goal, even if the only goal that they have is to just finish so they can get on with life. I'll admit that I'm one of those people. I don't know where I'll be when I'm done with school or what I'll be doing. I'll have a degree that won't guarantee me anything other than a miserable entry-level job if I choose to accept that.
I've learned a lot about art and the hands on processes behind design. I know how to use a woodshop. I know how to fix a lot of things. I've gotten a lot of pracitcal experience. But when it comes right down to it I've gotten to the point where I feel like I've been repeating the exact same thing over and over again for the last two years. I feel as though it's too late for a change, because if I changed now I would at the very least have another 3 years left to complete, if not longer, because I only have half of my gen eds completed.
The spiritual life on my campus is crap. I honestly have had a very difficult time surrounding myself with like-minded people in any sense of the word and in some ways I think that it has led me to become somewhat more accepting. In some ways it has made me very bitter.
And yet no matter how many times I go over it in my mind, it all comes down to this:
My vocation right now is to be a student in Nebraska for whatever reason God has put me there.
That's it.
It's hard sometimes to cling to the fact that God knows what He's doing. Hindsight is 20/20, but when you're walking through the forest and you don't know where you are, it's hard to put trust in something that you can't actually see. My faith isn't perfect and it's been challenged in ways I hadn't even imagined at Concordia. It's definitely shown me that simply saying the words over and over again don't make a difference and that actions really do speak louder than words, in both myself and others that I have seen.
But throughout all of college it's nice to know that when I stumble, I don't have to stagger to my feet by myself. God's there to pick me back up again, dust me off, and set me back down only to repeat the process every time I take a step. It also helps to know that because He has forgiven me, I can fully forgive others.
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
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