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 "You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in Your word." (Ps. 119:114)
In the name of Jesus. Amen. What happens when I look around my life and I feel like the gum that is on the bottom of God's shoe and it's like He's tracking me around, stretching me all over the place. What then?
Little here, little there, each part of me left behind. It may be for good works, it may be for bad ones. But, a little bit of me only goes so far and then I look down and I feel like there is nothing left. Every feel like that?
It's lived out in my body. How could it not? People see me and they do that genuine, “You don't look like yourself. Is it me? Am I bothering you? Should I leave you alone? Why aren't you fun any more? Where is that twinkle in your eyes? Do you have too much on your plate?”
Their concern just adds to it. Doesn't it? It's not you. The Lord put me here for your sake. He's working this out in my life for your life. So, don't ease up. All I know is that you worrying about it only adds more weight. More pressing down. More tracking me around.
So, I smile and say, “Don't worry. I'm fine. I've got it under control. I'm just tired. Let's not talk about it, leave it be, if I can just catch my breath for a second, I can get a hold of it. If I can wrap my mind around it, I can figure out what to do...”
But, I can't and I know better than to try. I probably couldn't tell you what's wrong anyway. I can't figure it out myself! It's just everything at once. But all of it has torn through all my strength and stripped of my cape. And without my Superman symbol on my chest, I'm just done. I'm gonna fail. I just know it.
And then.. on cue... all my life-long enemies surrounding me, I see them smiling because they finally have me where they want me. My "friends" join them. I guess they weren't my friends at all - even the "bestest" of my friends.
It's just me. All by myself. My enemies raise their weapons armed with the very bullets that I have given them by my sins and failures. My arrogance, my pride, my self-righteousness, my vanity, my secrets, all loaded up and fired at me.
Yet, all I can feel is the wraith, evil, and pain,of all the world weighing down on me. I'm drowning in it and I can't breathe any more. And stripped of all my defenses, all that is left is to close my eyes and spread my arms.
 "Finally, at least it will be over when they finally do me in..."
I hear the sound of them firing, but feel nothing. Then the sound of another wave of bullets, and nothing again. Did they miss? Did they hit and this is what death is like? Shouldn't the whole thing have hurt more?
I open one eye to see what's up.. and there is...
Jesus. It all hit Him first! Again, again, and again. It all hits Him, not me. They could pick up the kitchen sink (I have no doubt that some day they will!) and fling it at me and it would hit Him first. He's a giant shield that blocks every thing!
Jesus. When there is nothing else, no other protection, no cape, no armor, no friends, no other sanctuary, there is only Him. Only Jesus to save me.
Christ before me. Christ before you too. He was despised. They surrounded Him. His friends abandoned Him. They betrayed Him. He was mocked as He was beaten. They finished Him off. Then He who knew no sin was done in by the sin of the world, having becoming sin in our place. That's "for me" and "in my place!!"
When striped of my “S,” I have only Christ. When the twinkle is gone and I am tracked around like gum, there is only Jesus. When the only illumination that I have in my world is my own personal darkness, He alone is My Light. For in my weakness, in my sickness, in my failure, in my sin, and especially in my death, Christ's strength is made perfect (2Cor. 12:9).
And if they do me in because I stepped around Him, He'll save me then too. He always does. Always. Not because of me, but because He truly is so unbelievably Faithful.
Right there. In front of me. Right there. Protecting me. Right there. Shielding me... from me. 
For all my failures have been placed on Christ. All my weaknesses, all my sicknesses, even my death, He has taken upon Himself and has redeemed. He has bought it all back and has proclaimed it holy.
White. Baptismal. Forgiven. That's me. Bodied and Blooded. That's me too. Absolved by the Word. Amen. That was me before my enemies fired, I just didn't believe it. That's me now too - even when everything looks dark.
For Christ is for me, even when I'm not for me. Christ is for me, when I'm not for Him. Christ is for me when everyone is for me. Christ is for me, when no one else is for me.
Which brings a smile to my face and the start of a twinkle in my eyes. It's coming back. And I have just enough to peek around Jesus, my hiding place, and wave at Satan and my enemies.
"Fire away. You may do me in, you may ultimately get what you want with those bullets that I gave you, but He'll protect me. He'll save me. He'll take even you doing me in, or me doing me in, and use it to save me."
And if you kill me, all you'll do is fulfill my Baptism. And make all of this... every Word of Gospel... more real to me than it ever has been for me.
Christ will save me. He always does. He already has. He's that much for Me. He is my hiding place. He is my shield. Yours too. In the name of Jesus. Amen.
"So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you....” (2Cor. 4:12)
Edited on: June 05th, 2008 6:18 pm
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