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 In
the past week, I've been asked repeatedly by young ladies for "dating"
advice. This isn't the first time I've been asked for my insight, but it
was enough at once that I decided to go with it and start a blogcolumn.
Part of the problem that teens today have is that the advice they get about
dating is either, "WHAT? Kiss dating goodbye! You shouldn't
even think about being in a relationship with a boy until you're 35 and ready to
get married." Or, "Bat your eyes, wear low-cut, belly-baring tops and
show a lot of leg...let him know what he's missing out on if he's so stupid as
to pass YOU up."
Nice Lutheran girls want to attract nice Lutheran guys. This is true
regardless of your family's beliefs about dating in general. Assuming your
parents are cool with you doing a little dating at this point in your life,
whether it's a formal dance for school, group dates, or even looking toward
marriage, it's important to know how to find the right guy. How do you
know a guy is a nice guy?
Well...first, is he Lutheran? Not that Lutheran boys are necessarily
better than non-Lutheran boys, but it's really important that you and your
boyfriend/fiance/future husband share these basic beliefs and values in
common. It makes for a pretty tough relationship when you don't see eye-to-eye with each other on your religious beliefs. I know a number of young
women who place such a high priority in life on the faith they have been given,
that a lot of times it's hard to find a guy to meet this basic criterion who
isn't planning toward a vocation as a pastor or at least some sort of church
work. Does he go to church regularly? Is he well-versed in his faith
and able to discuss it with others without anyone receiving concussions from his
giant KJV Bible?
What's his relationship with his family like? Does he get along
reasonably well with his parents and siblings? Does he value their
opinions and try to honor his father and mother? Does he respect your
parents, whether he's met them or not? If he has, do your parents like
him?
What are his goals in life? Does he have any beyond beating Level 65 in
the latest computer game and seeing how many letters of the alphabet he can get
out in one belch? Is he going to school? Does he have a stable
job? Does he take pride in doing his work (whatever it is) well?
 Does
he treat you well? Does he have good manners and treat you like a lady? Does he
trust you? Is he honest with you? Does he compliment you? Does
he treat his mother like a queen? Is he gracious to people who serve him? Does he build you up and make you feel good about
yourself? Does he think (and make you believe) you are most beautiful,
wonderful, perfect woman in the world?
Sure, finding all that in one living, breathing, heterosexual and available young man where
you live is pretty unlikely. BUT it's important for a girl to have ideals.
:) No young man will be perfect, neither are you. But these
questions are just a place to start and see if a guy is worthy to seek your
romantic attention. Listen to your parents, listen to your friends.
They know you apart from the hormones and adrenaline and lovesick puppydog
eyes. They care for you and want what's best for you.
If you really want to see an ideal relationship, look at Christ and His
Bride (Ephesians 5). See how Jesus adores the Church and is willing to do
anything for her best interests - and does? He is the only perfect
Bridegroom, and since you have been baptized into the Church, He is the perfect
Bridegroom for you too, whether or not you find a nice guy to date or even marry
one day. Date, don't date. Marry,
don't marry. Your Bridegroom has washed you and made you holy and perfect
in God's sight.
Email Madre
Edited on: April 26th, 2006 1:30 am
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Chad, relax and wait for Madre to work. She did set me up, and I am marrying my dream in 23 days! 