Madre's Missives

There's no denying that we live in a world where "stuff" happens. We see it everywhere, we really can't get away from it. If we look at it long enough, and it draws us in and it's simply overwhelming. It consumes us, and we are driven to despair. I was born a "disfigured" child with a cleft lip. I know all about rape. My son was unwanted. What words of comfort do we have for me?

"Tough toenails. Buck up, li'l Christian. Take up your Cross like a good son. Have more faith. Life is hard. God doesn't mean you to have such suffering in your life. That's sin, so that's your fault. But oh well, here it is. Don't worry, it's only temporary. Now wipe your nose, stop your complaining, and bear the crosses you have been given in this life. Jesus did, now it's your turn." 

THIS is supposed to comfort me? This is supposed to encourage me to bear up under the weight of this sinful life? Have more faith! Believe harder! All this Law only serves to make me even more aware of my sinfulness, my doubts, and my suspicion. And telling me that God didn't intend my life to be the way it is supposed to make me trust him MORE?

Huh???

I don't know about these other people, but MY heavenly Father only gives me good gifts. Everything that I receive in my life, is because my Father loves me and is gifting me. Nothing sneaks by Him, nothing happens to me apart from His care for me in Christ - because I am Baptized. Even when things don't go the way I think they should, even when men do evil things to us, even when everything looks hopeless it is a gift. 

Of course, I can think of all sorts of gifts I'd rather receive than the "unpleasant" ones I'm getting at the time. Do I really know what's best for me better than He does? That goes for you too, Padre. You and Amy love Sophia dearly and only want the best for her (and we all know who does the hard work of caring for her daily needs, Pr. I-don't-change-stinky-diapers...). How much more does your heavenly Father love her and give her all that is hers, as an heir of the Kingdom, in Christ?

By faith we believe those baptismal promises in Christ even while we're smack in the middle of incredible suffering - that what is going on is really a gift. But because we are baptized, we don't have to just grit our teeth and bear our crosses now, waiting to one day get our gifts from God in heaven...if we persevere. They're ours now, in Christ. How in the world can I say this? ONLY by faith, that is, by Jesus.

When everything around us and in us screams to deny that something is a gift - this is too horrible, this is intolerable, this just cannot be - it is the gift of faith given to us in Baptism that clings for dear life to the Word of God in the water that we are the Father's beloved children, and this, too, is a gift. What I must wait for is to <i>see</i> how that was so. But by faith, we know that all our sins, all our suffering, all our struggles, our doubt, our rejection of God's gifting, was already put on Christ so that we wouldn't have to bear on our own anything that truly was as horrible as we imagine.

So, is suffering a cross to bear OR gift? These are spurious alternatives! The crosses we bear ARE gifts, because our cross is HIS Cross, which He bore for us. We're such sinners we even sin in our suffering and cross-bearing. "Look at my cross, it's so big and heavy, oh how I suffer so...Look at how well I bear my cross, how I overcome such adversity!" That's why the suffering of this life cannot be just about bearing crosses and hoping for something better one day. It's always about Christ and how He suffered in my place, and that makes all that He has for me...gift.

I am listening to Fallen Evanescence Release Date: 04 March, 2003