Madre's Missives

• Booths aren't that great. Really. Tables give you more room to be comfortable.
• Try something new sometime. Be daring. Spice it up. There are 50 other things on the menu, one or two of them just MIGHT be as good as the only thing you've ever tried.
• You are not the only table your server has. Give her a break and be a little patient if you see her tending to other tables too.
• If your server asks you if you are ready to order, and you say, "Yes, " please actually BE ready to tell him your order.
• Everything on the menu tastes great and your server is sure you'll really like it.
• Water is a drink. (As in, "No, I don't want a drink, I'll just have a water." Uh...)
• Salt on the beverage napkin or coaster makes a nasty mess.
• Leave the sugar and sweetener packets alone unless you're using them for your food/drink.
• Try to remember all the extra stuff you need at once.
• NO ONE likes screaming or misbehaving children in a restaurant.
• It is not cute when your child plays with his food all over the table.
• It is not cute (or safe) to let your child wander around the restaurant alone.
• If you want to eat while your kids run around and play, I suggest McDonald's Playland.
• Your server is happy to get balloons, crackers, crayons, etc. to help YOU keep your child amused.
• It's much easier/faster to seat a party of 8 or more guests if the hosts can plan even 30 min in advance.
• When eating with a party, stay put in your own seat.
• Verbal praise for great service is nice but it doesn't pay the bills. 15% is a standard gratuity - especially on a party of 8 or more.
• Leaving $2 on an $100 tab is NOT COOL.
• Unless your bill says otherwise, gratuity is not automatically added to your total.

It is your server's goal to make your meal as enjoyable as possible and anticipate and meet all your needs before you have to ask for something. Waitstaff only makes minimum wage (or less, in most states) for their hourly pay, tips are what they work for. If a customer is unhappy with his/her food or service, politely let your server know and they will do everything possible to remedy the situation (which usually means free food for the guest). Don't just stiff your server on the tip at the end of the meal. If you were pleased with your experience, show it.

I am listening to Alice's Restaurant Arlo Guthrie Release Date: 25 October, 1990