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I got an unexpected call yesterday afternoon. My son's
birthmother! We hadn't talked in a number of months and she was calling to
let me know that she had gotten married recently. I knew she was dating a
great guy for the last year or so and were leaning in that direction, but he's
in the Navy so a lot that was in the air. He came home on leave and they
eloped about 6 weeks ago. They still live in separate cities, but she's
now taken care of if something should happen to him. What great news for
her!
I was telling this to some new online friends and we got talking about
adoption. I'm a HUGE fan of adoption. I've had a wonderful
experience with it and would love to do it again (and again and again...) one
day.
I suppose Isaac's adoption is a fairly unique story. People say that
adoption takes a looooooonnnnnnng time. From the first homestudy visit to
Isaac's birthday = 32 days. He left the hospital with us 4 days
later. People say that adoption is prohibitively expensive. We
barely spent the adoption tax credit maximum. People say there aren't
babies available for adoption. I can point you to lists of women in the
U.S. desperately seeking to find families to adopt their unborn babies.
And that's not counting the waiting kids. The catch? The babies will be
various shades of brown.
Obviously, Isaac's is an open adoption done through a private
attorney/agency. His birthmother got to choose the adoptive family for her
baby. She and I remain in contact, we have each others' full names,
addresses, and phone numbers. We have visited a few times, talk on the
phone every few months (conversations that end up going on for hours), and
exchange pictures and gifts for Christmas and his birthday. She attended
Isaac's baptism 2 days after giving us custody, where he was adopted into God's
family. No, it's not scary. Not once, not for a moment have I ever
wondered if she would change her mind.
Monica is an amazing young woman, who literally chose life for her
baby. I have the utmost respect for her and am blown away by her
integrity. She originally went to have an abortion, but once there,
decided not to go through with the procedure. She told her family she had
taken a job in another state and moved across town, assuming a different
appearance. Her family still doesn't know she was pregnant, only a couple
of very close friends. She went back to school, straightened up her life,
got a good job, and had the wherewithall to do it on her own while carrying a
child she knew she could not raise on her own. One adoptive family match
fell through a month before her due date and she stuck with her plan to place
for adoption.
Like I said, she's just amazing. I'm so happy for her that she got
married.
Edited on: November 14th, 2005 9:08 pm
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