Madre's Missives
Inadvertent and Occasionally Intentional Thoughts
"...church officials prefer to use a fire hose."
Posted On: August 28th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
"If
you have sinned since last year, you need to get into the water and be
baptized," boomed Apostle H. Thompson, next to Madison. "If you have a
sickness and need to be healed, you need to get into the water and be
baptized."
"You heard the preacher," Madison told the crowd. "If you
want to go to heaven, let the waters roll."
With that, the fire hose hissed on and, for 15 minutes, the water tumbled
down, the bands played, tears flowed and the healing began.
"All you've got to do is have faith and believe!" Thompson
shouted.
Unlike other Pentecostal-type groups, this one
believes that baptism should be done by sprinkling, and what better way to
sprinkle an entire mega-congregation than to use a fire hose? The 800-some people attending the mass
fire-hose baptism hosted by the United House of Prayer for All People were
there to get their sins washed away and receive forgiveness in baptism.
Many even do it every year! Oh, and this
baptism doesn't just forgive sins, people are healed of their illnesses
too. They even bottle up the water and drink it or rub it on their bodies
to heal them when they get sick.
The question is, was it Baptism? 
Edited on: August 28th, 2007 1:06 pm
Comments:
Re: "...church officials prefer to use a fire hose."
Posted On: August 30th, 2007 at 10:46 pm by dtp
Uhm - did they make the sign of the cross and baptize in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit?
Article has some hilarious thelogical blunders.!
Thanksfor the laugh
Re: "...church officials prefer to use a fire hose."
Posted On: August 31st, 2007 at 7:51 am by Doorman-Priest
A good web-blog. Thanks. Check out my new Lutheran blog.
Blessings
D.P.