Surprising Advocate for Headcovering

Sandra Ostapowich — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 10:08:48 -0600

Veiled sexuality meshes with Muslim values
Thursday, Sept. 4, 2008

By NAOMI WOLF
NEW YORK — A woman swathed in black to her ankles, wearing a head scarf or a full chador, walks down a European or North American street, surrounded by other women in halter tops, miniskirts and short shorts. She passes under immense billboards on which other women swoon in sexual ecstasy, cavort in lingerie or simply stretch out languorously, almost fully naked. Could this image be any more iconic of the discomfort the West has with the social mores of Islam, and vice versa?

Ideological battles are often waged with women's bodies as their emblems, and Western Islamophobia is no exception. When France banned head scarves in schools, it used the hijab as a proxy for Western values in general, including the appropriate status of women. When Americans were being prepared for the invasion of Afghanistan, the Taliban were demonized for denying cosmetics and hair color to women; when the Taliban were overthrown, Western writers often noted that women had taken off their scarves.
But are we in the West radically misinterpreting Muslim sexual mores, particularly the meaning to many Muslim women of being veiled or wearing the chador? And are we blind to our own markers of the oppression and control of women?

The West interprets veiling as repression of women and suppression of their sexuality. But when I traveled in Muslim countries and was invited to join a discussion in women-only settings within Muslim homes, I learned that Muslim attitudes toward women's appearance and sexuality are not rooted in repression, but in a strong sense of public versus private, of what is due to God and what is due to one's husband. It is not that Islam suppresses sexuality, but that it embodies a strongly developed sense of its appropriate channeling — toward marriage, the bonds that sustain family life and the attachment that secures a home.

Outside the walls of the typical Muslim households that I visited in Morocco, Jordan and Egypt, all was demureness and propriety. But inside, women were as interested in allure, seduction and pleasure as women anywhere in the world.

At home, in the context of marital intimacy, Victoria's Secret, elegant fashion, and skin care lotions abounded. The bridal videos that I was shown, with the sensuous dancing that the bride learns as part of what makes her a wonderful wife, and which she proudly displays for her bridegroom, suggested that sensuality was not alien to Muslim women. Rather, pleasure and sexuality, both male and female, should not be displayed promiscuously — and possibly destructively — for all to see.

Indeed, many Muslim women I spoke with did not feel at all subjugated by the chador or the head scarf. On the contrary, they felt liberated from what they experienced as the intrusive, commodifying, basely sexualizing Western gaze. Many women said something like this: "When I wear Western clothes, men stare at me, objectify me, or I am always measuring myself against the standards of models in magazines, which are hard to live up to — and even harder as you get older, not to mention how tiring it can be to be on display all the time. When I wear my head scarf or chador, people relate to me as an individual, not an object; I feel respected."

This may not be expressed in a traditional Western feminist set of images, but it is a recognizably Western feminist set of feelings. I experienced it myself. I put on a shalwar kameez and a head scarf in Morocco for a trip to the bazaar. Yes, some of the warmth I encountered was probably from the novelty of seeing a Westerner so clothed; but, as I moved about the market — the curve of my breasts covered, the shape of my legs obscured, my long hair not flying about me — I felt a novel sense of calm and serenity. I felt, yes, in certain ways, free.

Nor are Muslim women alone. The Western Christian tradition portrays all sexuality, even married sexuality, as sinful. Islam and Judaism never had that same kind of mind-body split. So, in both cultures, sexuality channeled into marriage and family life is seen as a source of great blessing, sanctioned by God.

This may explain why both Muslim and orthodox Jewish women not only describe a sense of being liberated by their modest clothing and covered hair, but also express much higher levels of sensual joy in their married lives than is common in the West. When sexuality is kept private and directed in ways seen as sacred — and when one's husband isn't seeing his wife (or other women) half-naked all day long — one can feel great power and intensity when the head scarf or the chador comes off in the sanctity of the home.

Among healthy young men in the West, who grow up on pornography and sexual imagery on every street corner, reduced libido is a growing epidemic, so it is easy to imagine the power that sexuality can still carry in a more modest culture. And it is worth understanding the positive experiences that women — and men — can have in cultures where sexuality is more conservatively directed.

I do not mean to dismiss the many women leaders in the Muslim world who regard veiling as a means of controlling women. Choice is everything. But Westerners should recognize that when a woman in France or Britain chooses a veil, it is not necessarily a sign of her repression. And, more importantly, when you choose your own miniskirt and halter top — in a Western culture in which women are not so free to age, to be respected as mothers, workers or spiritual beings, and to disregard Madison Avenue — it's worth thinking in a more nuanced way about what female freedom really means.

Naomi Wolf, the author, most recently, of "The End of America: Letter of Warning to a Young Patriot" and the forthcoming "Give me Liberty: How to Become an American Revolutionary," is cofounder of the American Freedom Campaign, a U.S. democracy movement. © 2008 Project Syndicate (www.project-syndicate.org)

Article copied from: http://search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/eo20080904a2.html

On Being Silent

Sandra Ostapowich — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 00:31:13 -0600

"As in all the churches of the saints, the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says." (1 Corinthians 14:33-34)

More often than not, this passage is quoted to keep women in line, to remind us that we are prohibited from being pastors because we Scripture tells us that we are not permitted to speak in church. It's usually quoted by men, and frequently with a scowl.

It stings. It makes the hair on the backs of our necks stand up. We don't like it, and we don't like the people who quote it at us. Silence is not something that comes naturally to us since the Fall.

Women keeping silent means trusting that then men given to you will speak for you, will represent you, will take your needs and desires into consideration, will do what's best for you, will not forget about you, will put you before themselves.

The problem comes in when we take a hard look at the men around us. They fail us all the time. They forget to pick up milk at the store, they work late, leave their dirty socks on the floor and whiskers coating the sink. They're needier than babies when they get a sniffle. The sink still leaks, the lawn needs mowing. They get angry and say mean things to us. They scare us, they hurt us. And sometimes they just up and leave us, or force us to leave them for our own safety.

Trust men like that to speak up for us? Depend on them to take care of us? They can't even load the dishwasher the right way! How in the world can we just sit back and expect them to do the right thing without us practically doing it for them? It's just as bad at church as it at home, maybe worse.

Scripture reminds us that the Church is the Bride of Christ. We are there to receive God's gifts for us through Word and Sacrament. And the only faithful thing we have to speak together are the words we have been given by the Lord in Scripture. Women get to demonstrate this faithfulness in silence twice over. There's a reason quietness is extolled as beautiful in women, it's faithfulness.

"The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent."
(Exodus 14:14)

Our husbands are to love us Christ loves His Bride, the Church. They get to be Christ for us. That means they get to be the ones who fight for us, who speak for us, who tend to us, care for us, protect us, and even sacrifice their lives for us. Not just husbands either. The elders of the church are given that responsibility for the adult women without husbands or other male family members to care for them.

The Lord, through the men given to us, will fight for us. Even the sinful, flawed men in our lives, whose sins and flaws we know all too well. Those men on their own, no, they probably aren't trustworthy and probably won't make good decisions all the time. But the Lord is working, doing good for us, through these men he's given us. He's also given us the faith to receive all the good they, and He, are going to do for us. We have no reason to expect anything less than the best from Him, and them.

"...let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." (1 Peter 3:4)

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on your side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to your God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; your best, your heav'nly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul; your God will undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Your hope, your confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul; though dearest friends depart
And all is darkened in this vale of tears;
Then you will better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe your sorrows and your fears.
Be still, my soul; your Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul; the hour is hast'ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, loves purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.
(LSB #742)

Madre's Missives

Surprising Advocate for Headcovering

On Being Silent