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The Daily Grind
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Posted At: 12:20am by Rachel Engebretson
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I really enjoy watching my cats. There’s something about the way a cat moves that is both amusing and incredible. They can be very gentle with little soft paws that can balance on almost anything, yet at the same time, very violent with those same paws when grabbing onto an unfortunate rodent.
I’m crazy about animal documentaries. It’s so much fun, at least for me, to observe animal movement. It isn’t so interesting to watch a walrus on TV, but even they have a unique design that allows them to rocket through the water like a missile.
It must be hard to be a scientist without faith and try to reason how animals could be so intricately built to thrive in their specific environments by mere chance. I suppose you could formulate possibilities and, like Charles Darwin did, come up with superficial theories, but no human theory can match the complexity and depth of even the smallest one-celled organism. This could be the example or definition of the word “frustration,” unless you can settle for just a theory.
This made me think of how God continually provides for his creation, and how every animal has a plan for how to survive built into them. How much more intricate, then, are his plans for our survival! Not only do we survive with the grace of God, we are so richly blessed daily that we constantly thrive over time. His hand is guiding the most minute of detail in the course of our lives without us asking.
In a few days I will be leaving again for college. It’s been very enjoyable to spend time with my family once again. We don’t have much of an extended family, so we’re all very close. It’s admittedly painful to leave them, but I’m glad to have the opportunities in college. Even so, I’ve been doubtful as to where my future is headed. Sometimes it seems as though it is spiraling nowhere fast, and other times it appears to be on a rapid uphill climb.
I’m very happy to have the hope given to me by faith, knowing that God will always provide more than I deserve no matter where my future is headed. As I watch my cats, it’s evident that they do not worry about if their food bowls will be filled. They know it happens, and that’s good enough. I can be successful with the help of God. I shouldn’t have to worry, because it will happen - and that’s good enough.
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Posted At: 11:45am by Rachel Engebretson
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This is it. Today is the day I run away…I mean, leave…for college.
I’m not even going to attempt to describe the goulash of emotions, activity, and work that has led up to today. I’m sure everyone going off to college or moving out of the house can relate to some aspect, and my situation is certainly no different.
I’ve never been very good at memorizing Bible passages, which is not helpful to some degree. Regardless, everyone knows John 3:16, of course, we know God loved the world so much he gave his only Son to die so believers will not perish. This is a very comforting verse for any Christian. Besides this, I always remember my conformation verse:
“Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life.” Revelation 2:10
Wherever I go, in any phase of life, I have confessed to be faithful even when faced with death. I was chosen by God, buried with sin, and risen again with Christ in the waters of Holy Baptism. I’m apart from the world - the crazy, confusing, and hurtful planet it is - and someday will be in paradise forever with the Lord.
I’m scared. There’s no doubt about that emotion. I don’t know what will happen once I get to River Falls. Sure, I’ll have fun and make friends. However, it won’t completely dull the sometimes overwhelming emotion of missing my family, friends, and of course, my pets. It’s the end of the first chapter in my life - 18 years - that’s a heavy thought, if you’re brave enough to consider it.
I guess the world is heavy. Every human on the earth is burdened with the effects of sin. Evil attempts to take anything that is good and make it wretched. I’m sure if you interviewed every person, you would hear a plethora of personal pain. For me, I might say it is going away from home while several doctors have told me something isn’t right inside. Once I’m on vacation again, I can undergo tests to see what’s wrong with my digestive tract. That’s not good.
I am not unique that way, and I know there are stories much worse than mine. But even when it feels as so you’re drowning in a sea of sin and evil too large to handle, the Christian knows their resurrection is in Christ. Even in the midst of so much death, the believer will receive the crown of life because of the payment Christ made on their behalf.
This is the truth that agnostics reject.
This is the only truth that can help you forever.
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Posted At: 7:15pm by Rachel Engebretson
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My poor, neglected blog. As I finally write in it, I feel sad that I’ve neglected it. But, such is life.
I recently graduated from high school. Not to purposely take away from the achievements of high school graduates, but graduating from high school isn’t all that impressive. At least, during this point in my life, it doesn’t seem that way.
I didn’t think it would happen, like it was a dream. The flurry of activity before the “big day” foreshadowed the event as something probably too good to be true. I almost convinced myself that something - anything - was doomed to happen that would terminate my graduation and, therefore, my dream of becoming a veterinarian. Of course, nothing happened, and I walked across the stage like everyone else.
I never cried, even during my last day, surrounded by depressed friends, and the exchange of hugs, good luck wishes, and admittedly empty promises to get together over the summer. It fills the gap of awkwardness, knowing there is nothing else to say.
As is typical of most high school age groups, one of the senior graduates would lose his or her life. In our case, Steve died in a terrible car accident, a month away before receiving his diploma. His girlfriend and best friend did take the piece of paper for him; it was useless to Steve and alcohol in the wound following his death, a painful reminder that he didn’t live long enough to hold that piece of paper himself.
Are we too young to die? It’s a thought we’d much rather quickly forget. Death is a morbid, terrible reality. And yet, as easily as flicking a light switch off, there it goes - Every compounded year of blood, sweat, and tears detailing a person with such a history that the theory of evolution makes a complete mockery of its complexity. As Job lamented, all of his family and earthly belongings decimated at the hand of Satan, “Why did I not die at birth, come forth from the womb and expire?” (Job 3:1) Why were so many secular years wasted for nothing? And to be on the knife’s edge between life and death, “…life is but a breath” (Psalm 39:5).
Can this get even more depressing, you may ask? You may be screaming, Rachel, lighten up!
Oh, but there’s more. Do you have your happy pills ready? Dear Lord, not another charismatic freak sitting there telling the world they’re predisposed to hell.
Thankfully, Lutherans are not charismatic freaks.
Don’t worry, we sit in our living rooms and laugh at Joel Osteen too.
In fact, we drink beer [legally].
It’s German. Martin Luther was German. Connection? Probably.
The greatest thing about being Christian is having the glorious hope of everlasting life. You know, that hope that makes atheists think we’re delirious. The greatest thing about being Lutheran is having the glorious hope of faith alone taking you there: pure, unadulterated faith in Christ. None of those “Hail Mary“, “Bless me Father for I have sinned“, “I accept Jesus,” “I’m in love with Jesus,” and especially NOT, “I have sinned so much God can’t possibly have enough forgiveness to cover me.”
And you thought the concept of establishing mental stability in Iran was a far-fetched concept. What are Lutherans thinking? Are we that cool that God does all the work for us?
Actually, we are so dirty we can’t clean ourselves. “The wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23a): We’re so high in debt over our heads that we’re damned to death, and death quite literally. This is the death that lasts forever: hell. I did, however, leave a section of that verse out. The rest says, “…but the gift of God is eternal life, in Jesus Christ our Lord.” Gifts don’t require wages from the receiver. God gives it to us freely and without payment. It’s impossible to give a gift to someone who doesn’t even believe you exist or have any power to give them that gift. Therefore, faith in Jesus Christ as God is the ticket in. In fact, it’s the only ticket in. This is the rich Gospel Word of God that is the concentrated salve for a world burning in the despair that is called sin. It’s not a diluted promise: Do this list of good things and God forgives you. No way. God forgives you because you’re sorry. Payment is not an issue; that transaction was completed hundreds of years ago when God’s very Son was sacrificed for the messed up world.
Am I ready to get into a car accident? Absolutely not. The very concept is enough to scare me into mostly obeying the speed limit. Am I ready to die? You bet! Of course, the way that was just said could be misleading. I’m not looking to die anytime to soon, but I’m content in how it’s going to end. I have nothing to lose from not being here, besides egotistical coworkers and a lousy Blue State that smells constantly of manure.
And with that, I plunge headlong into the violently exciting and confusing land of college. Finding a church I was happy with is a completely different story - The one I’m going to attend weekly while I’m away is probably going to end up being 45 minutes away.
I’m a picky little PK.
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Posted At: 4:42pm by Rachel Engebretson
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Considering we now have snow! YES! Living in Wisconsin can have some perks, my friends. A white Christmas being one of them.
Trying to give the perfect Christmas greeting is almost as awkward at trying to find the right things to say at a funeral. You don't want to repeat what 50 other people have already said, and yet, you still want to say something nice.
So here we go, merry Christmas. I've got nothing significantly special other than that...
We finally decorated our Christmas tree yesterday. Yes, yes, I know...More dedicated people than ourselves have had trees and lights and flickering Santas up ever since the day after Thanksgiving. Somehow, the magic was lost this year. How can we possibly bring back the times when we were little, bursting at our little seams over the fact we got to place a shiny object on a Douglas Fir? My mind was somewhere between the skipping Christmas CD and watching my brother yawn. I found an ornament I had made when I was 3 - It was a piece of paper with string taped to it.
"You call that art?" My brother chided.
I pointed to a piece of foam with random specks of glitter David had fashioned some years ago.
"You call that art?" I replied.
"Oh, it's all beautiful," my mom said, placing them on the tree.
My little sister, age 6, is appropriately bubbly with Christmas energy. She's all hiped for the socks she requested. We can afford socks. For some reason, Bekah wants more. Lots of socks. Oh yeah.
I recently flipped through some photo albums my mom had saved from my grandpa's house.
All crisp in our best clothes...
I remember Christmas. Christmas being my favorite time of the year, besides birthdays. The Christmas program was every little Lutheran kid's time to shine in an acolyte's robe beaming, playing an angel.
In many ways, I wish I had that innocent excitement around the holidays. It's definately different this year, with all my grandparents gone. We won't sit around Grandma Dorothy's tiny revolving Christmas tree, or call Grandpa Bob to ask if he liked the new Air Force book we bought him.
I thought it was rather sad until I talked with a client at work, who had his old labrador in for tests. The poor yellow, droopy dog's kidneys were failing. As I administered sub-q fluids to the dog, I chatted with the owner, asking him if he was going to spend time with family over Christmas.
"No," he replied, tears welling up in his eyes, "Bud's all I got."
I've never known the pain of having something you hold high in your life vanish. Of course, I loved my grandparents, but I know someday I'll see them again in heaven. They're not completely dead to me. My salvation is secured in heaven. Why should anything else on earth stress me out, Christmas included? It's all going to pass away. I'm never going to be able to keep the gifts I recieve forever, except the ones Christ has showered so graciously upon me. What a humbling thought it is, knowing everything you touch on earth will never last.
So I wish you a merry Christmas. But most of all, I'm glad to know that for all the faithful in Christ, I'll see you someday forever.
Pax. 
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Posted At: 10:17pm by Rachel Engebretson
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…for all of those who are interested.
I feel like throwing a bunch of random, incoherent thoughts in this poor post. So here goes.
Firstly, my weak heart once again gave out to a poor, furry creature. I know I need to stop this, I can’t keep getting attached to the animals at work. However, like they all are, this one was “special”…And I just had to rescue him, of course. The cat was hit by a car, fixed up, and then all set to be euthanized. I went, “Wait…what?” and found a home for this amazing cat. There was nothing wrong with him. As far as I saw it, there was no legitimate reason to not give him a second chance. Besides, there are a select number of animals in this world that wish to kill me and are never euthanized. There must be something wrong here.
Secondly, I never knew that I would love body spray so much. When you constantly smell of animal discharge from your job, you begin to shop around for better scents. I always figure, coconut and lime plus urine is better than urine alone. Yes…!! I got all excited over this pomegranate scented stuff I found in Walmart (of all places). It smells so good. Ever go into the candle section of your favorite retail store and smell all the candles? Because, basically, you can? It’s like, a party for your nose. Incredible.
Thirdly, I have absolutely no idea what to get my family members for Christmas. Any ideas? I’m thinking, possibly, the Desperate Housewives video game for my brother. He’d be thrilled, I’m sure. *cough*
Fourthly, and probably most importantly, my dad got himself a blog. So yes, a superforce was released into the internet galaxy. If you like my blog, go there, because, well, he’s related to me. If you don’t like my blog, go there anyway, because he’s a much better writer than I am. Drop him a few comments. He’s really got some good stuff: http://nwseelsorger.blogspot.com/
Happy almost-weekend! Yeehaw!
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