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The views represented on this blog are not necessarily those of Higher Things, nor does Higher Things necessarily endorse them.
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Posted At: 10:21am by TripletThree
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A few of us single gals on this blog have decided that we need more discussion. So, here's some background, first:
In today's culture, girls are expected to take the initiative with guys. I've noticed numerous websites and magazines instructing girls to "go for it!" This doesn't quite sit well with some of us, but, on the other hand, guys seem to have become used to this and decided that they're just going to sit there passively and wait for the girls to do whatever.
Because the single gals on this blog have no patience (and another who isn't on this blog {coughwink} ), we've decided to pose this question to you guys rather than try to figure it out ourselves:
How do you, as guys, recommend that girls today avoid being like Jane Bennet (so reserved that her guy took off because she didn't show any sign of interest) or go to the other extreme and be like the trio in Beauty and the Beast (literally throwing themselves at guys)? (Anyone can answer, btw... we're just specifically addressing guys. ;o) )
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I am listening to This Woman
Release Date: 25 January, 2005
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Posted On: April 22nd, 2006 at 11:11am by Madre |
Heh 
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Posted On: April 23rd, 2006 at 9:03pm by Nathaniel [ + ] |
I'll be giving it some thought...
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Posted On: April 24th, 2006 at 7:40am by Harry W. Reineke IV |
If a guy in whom you are interested shows an interest, respond with interest. Sometimes, you need to "give him a hint" so to speak. I, being old-fashioned, would say that girls shouldn't "go for it" unless absolutely necessary. My girlfriend would not have gone for it. Sometimes things don't need to change. Okay, this has been a long answer to a short question. Basically, show interest, but don't over-do it. Also, don't over-do the passive side of things either (lest you remain single forever). I happy medium must be attained. Anymore you wanna know, I can always try to help.
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Posted On: April 24th, 2006 at 2:18pm by Petersen [ + ] |
I don't know what "go for it" means. But I know that young men have egos more fragile than soap bubbles in a hail storm. They need a lot of hints, a lot of flirting. In my day (not that long ago) young men did not ask young women out that they did not know. We didn't "cold call." We also didn't ask out girls that we weren't almost positive beyond all doubt would say yes.
So my advice is to let the guy ask, but be sure to let him know what the answer will be beforehand. Come on, Ladies. Have some mercy.
Petersen
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Posted On: April 24th, 2006 at 7:02pm by Dulcimerist [ + ] |
I've been super shy all of my life, and have never had the courage to ask a girl out. If you like a guy and would like to go out with him, just go ask!  It's best if you don't label it as a date, but as friends spending time together. That way, you won't initially make a shy guy nervous.
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Posted On: April 24th, 2006 at 7:47pm by Katie Gehlbach |
What happens then if a girl wouldn't "go for it" but has male friends that she invites to hang out with her?
How is a casual observer to tell the difference between a forward girl and one with friends?
I used to have a lot more male friends than female friends and in college now I see that most girls like that get labeled with not so nice terms... so I think I'd advise against "just going for it" because then the water can get muddied.
I think the guy should make the intitive, but the girl shouldn't "lead on" guys she isn't interested in or be unattentive to the one she does like.
Does that make sense?
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Posted On: May 02nd, 2006 at 3:42pm by Aaron N [ + ] |
I'm definitely a pretty firm believer in the traditional view that the guy should be the one asking the girls out, but we do you need help. Drop hints. Let your guy know that you think he's special and would definitely say yes if/when he asked you out. Everything Madre said in her recent "Flirting 101" is good.
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Posted On: May 14th, 2006 at 6:30am by been there, heard that. . . |
A bigger reason I'm hesitant to ask a girl is that these days I don't seem to ever get a straight answer. I hear, "I don't want to say yes because I don't want a relationship right now, but I don't want to say no either." Or, "I'm busy then, but maybe another time". But that other time? Yeah, she's busy again. In the end it's her friends that have to tell me, and even they might not be completely honest about it. It's something I'd rather not deal with. If the answer is no, I can deal with it, tell me no.
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Comment on entry entitled "Attention, All Guys!"
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