Rev. Cwirla's Blogosphere

Michael "Internet Monk" Spencer, a new cyber-aquiantence of mine, has written a terrific piece on parenting entitled "Seven Observations for Parents."  He speaks wisely out of the schoool of experience.  I really like his 7th observation, which I reproduce for you here.  The rest you can read on his blog.

7. Loving your children is not the same as you being happy. Loving your children will mean getting into places where you are unhappy, and then asking what does it mean to love that child.

Christian parents have a tendency to say that when they feel good about their child, then the child is being loved. Be careful of that road. Many Christian parents are willing to produce a child who is shallow, phony and manipulative towards them in order to get what they want from that child. Children will, as teenagers especially, give you what you want and buy into nothing you are selling. They will do this to survive having you as a parent. Then when they are away from you, they will sell that strategy and become whatever they really are, which may scare the _________ out of you.

You have to love the real child, and you need to get started with that as soon as possible. Your child’s individuality is your business. It’s your job to love them as a unique individual. A school or a church or a group of friends will never accept individuality in the same measure that you do. They can’t. Life doesn’t work that way.